THE PARADOX OF MRS. MAISEL AND ME
***spoiler alert***
Do not read on until you have educated yourself on seasons 1,2,3 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
This spring I started watching the Amazon Prime Series, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Why so late, do you ask? Well, truthfully even though I was a staunch Gilmore Girls fan, I didn’t think it would be relevant to me or that I needed a fluffy program at the time.
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I recently finished the third season, and I am devastated. Devastated that there are tragically only 8 episodes this season and more so devastated at the heartbreaking turns her life and career take as she makes her way thru her “life got blown up” phase. What makes me love Mrs. Maisel and Rachel Brosnahan so much? It’s how much I relate to her even though it’s set in a time period 60 years later. What makes me so sad each time I turn off the prime player app on my phone? How little things have actually changed for a mother who has a dream.
What I find so debilitating is the idea that at first Mrs. Maisel finds herself able to be both mother and a woman trying to be a comedian. However,after a season and a bit of giving that tough ride a go, she falls in love and is ready to give up comedy and head back to full time domesticity.
Then the call arrives.
Literally.
Suddenly, the dream she never knew she had is becoming real and she feels her only choice is to say goodbye to love and head out on the road. (All the while assuming the man she fell in love with couldn't or wouldn’t put up with it.)
Of course, while out on the road, she questions (and jokes) what her family and friends must think of her, and she wonders if her children still know who she is.
Why is it, that to BE artist, we must forsake all normalcy? Domesticity? Why is it that to be a female creative means to question the fabric of you and your children’s relationship? Case in point: She makes friends with the hip tv version of electric bass icon and studio musician pioneer Carol Kaye, and in the show a single mother of 3. Mrs. Maisel and Carol have a handful of conversations about motherhood and their careers…but you won’t see any men being scripted with the conversations of “do you miss them,” phooey. These conversations make me wonder time after time, are we supposed to miss our children every minute of each hour of each day while we are out pursuing our dream? How distracting! (see also CBC comedy gold “Working Moms” for more on this topic)
I will confess that unless my kids are sick or having problems I do not think of them while I am at work, any work at that. Does this lack of obsession make me a bad mother? I’m not sure what scares me most on my journey to becoming a touring musician, them forgetting me or not thinking about them? Their lives go on without me. Does anyone ask a husband if he feels guilty for being away? It seems to me that we still have a ways to go if the woman I admire from 60 years ago and I are still having the same conversations today. Do you have these conversations or thoughts? Please feel free to comment below to keep the conversation going.
With that, I bid you adieu for the holidays. I’m trying not to over-caffeinate and stay somewhat calm and sane for my family today. Shit to do? Yes. Is there wine? Yes.
Happy Christmas Everyone. See you in 2020.