The Weight Gets Lifted, Eventually.

As I sit at our dining table, filled with the various papers and projects that have been haunting me for quite some time, I feel it’s time to get back to the medium of writing. I realize that it’s been a while. In fact, I haven’t been on here since May of last year. So much has happened since then, it’s hard to know what to share with you now.

This process is also a sort of cartography for me, a way to navigate the impending release from the restrictions and protections that have held us back for nearly 2 years. In that instant, I somewhat daydreamed about life in the before, about the February in the recording studio, the vision I had for 2020 and beyond. It was clear, and I was pushing through serious fears about self-promotion and the unknown. I wonder what the trajectory for the album might have been in a different time. After getting my tax documents together, and realizing for 2021 I sold $1.00 worth of music, my heart broke all over again for the project that took 10 years to make. The vision for my musical future feels more clouded and uncertain than ever before.

I realize I have the unpopular opinion of being ready for the restrictions to be removed, and it’s difficult for me to say as I am a people pleaser to the nth degree. I don’t feel this simply because I want our lives to get back to normal, whatever that means. This pause in our business has cause a complete recalibration in how we live our lives. In Long Term Care, the restrictions placed on our residents and facility over the past 2 years have been detrimental to their health and well being. If you’ve been in a long term care facility before, you’ll know it is a very busy place. When I first started in August of 2020, it was like walking through an orphanage. There were no volunteers, no family, just staff. I can’t tell you the difference between August 2020 and August 2021. The building felt alive, the residents were improving and life seemed to be getting back to an equilibrium. Today, it feels even more alive. Music Therapy is back. Puppies are back. Church is back. Am I back?

And then today, I heard something I needed to hear. A friend, who I haven’t seen in a long time in person, mentioned having heard me on the radio yesterday. After a hellish work week, she told me the song was just what she needed to pick herself up and get on.

I’ve come back home with a renewed sense of purpose. Prevent the job from draining me allows me to have a financial freedom that I need to do the projects that I want. And I am happy to say there is one on the horizon.

If you need a pick me up, I’d be happy to send you a copy of the album. Just send me an email and it’s yours.

Happy Spring Folks. Better days are always ahead. The dark ones are always near. Let’s hold each other up.

Love,

AJ