THE FIRST GIG

This week I had the opportunity to perform. Outside. To real people.

It had been since Saturday March 7 that I had done it. We arrived at the park to find it was already buzzing with activity. The usual sit around and wait was filled so many emotions, more than the usual “WHEN WILL SOUNDCHECK START” feeling. If you know me, you know I rarely get nervous and I do not have stage fright, but this time was different. It felt as though someone had filled me with air and I was going to float away. I had no weight to myself at all. No way of staying in the place I was meant to perform in.
Kenna went first (we were sharing the bill) and immediately I was spinning. “Will I remember the lyrics? What do I do with my arms? What if everyone leaves?” Then, she started to share the stories behind her new songs. She started describing her experiences as a mother and I immediately recognized myself and started to calm down. I felt grounded. The shared experience her and I have as mothers and creatives reminded me what I was doing there.

It was such a surreal experience in knowing that as an artist, I was able to fulfill a need that so many in the audience had been desperate to fill. It also felt a bit like I was ironing on stage, trying to work out the wrinkles that have formed over the past 5 months, like what do i do with my arms? Who do I look at? Did I miss something? Do they like me?

OOF.

Then I got to do it again the following week. It didn’t take long for it to feel familiar. But with constant changes in health restrictions and public gatherings, who knows when the next one will be. I can’t really publicize them when I they do happen so that we can keep the public safe. But if you want to follow along, you can @yycarts and #ARTSXPEDITIONS.

See you out there.

xx

AJ