THE REAL WEIGHT OF COVID 19: PART FIVE

This morning, as I sat down to pen my journal entry I started to write the date and I realized, I didn’t know what day it was. Truly, not jokingly, could not remember what day it was. We are in an existential loop, like Groundhog Day, and COVID 19 is Ned “Needlenose” Ryerson. I am definitely feeling Bill Murray today, before he falls in love with Andie MacDowell (who I always wanted to be FYI.)

I feel blue today, for no good reason. I finally slept last night out of sheer exhaustion, and felt rested for a couple of hours, but have hit a wall again. I should feel buoyed by the debut of the new single on radio, or the momentum that Calgary Jazz Relief is gaining, but right now I just feel BLAH.

I think it might have been because I see other people around me struggling, as we are struggling, and I forget about the things that should make me feel lighter because right now it just all feels too heavy to manage. It’s difficult for me to not be able to physically reach out to my people. I gain so much from physical and social contact, even though it’s hard.

All that said, I just ate 2 homemade chocolate chip cookies that my husband made and drank a huge glass of water. I guess I’m gonna make it after all today, even if I am still wearing the same uniform for the past 3 days.

xo

AJ